Did I do it on Purpose

The hindsight bias finds a greater probability for events after the fact than is reasonably probable from any evidence prior to the event. The availability bias causes me to attribute the causes for events to things I already believe to be true.

So I ask myself - did I mean to go insane and emerge as a practicing Buddhist? Or, more rationally, did I just make a series of choices which soon became fewer until almost everything was a forced move. More plausibly did I deliberately set in motion a series of events which would eventually force me to act out the Drama on Rundberg.